Healing Hands: Motherhood Edition
Hi, welcome!
Thank you for dropping by this little blog post “workshop”. This is the way most of my free content works now. I create blog posts, guides, or virtual “classes” for you to explore at your own pace. For further connection & guidance, I offer other services & opportunities for individual and group support. Now, find a comfy place, kick off your shoes, & let’s dig in. If you're a mom, that may mean sitting on the toilet or in your car a little longer (if you know, you know), listening to the audio version while doing errands, or quickly scrolling through to come back when you can. However, you choose to explore, may it bring a little more peace, comfort, & healing to your flow. May we all Root Love Grow™ a little more each day.
I’ve seen this quote (“you’re allowed to feel grief and gratitude”) floating around a lot from a number of sources. I feel it can apply to so many circumstances. In our lifetimes, in our days, we are experiencing so many things. Some moments are full of joy and other moments the difficult feelings rise to the surface. It is the ebb and flow of life. Our feelings are a guide. Addressing them through self-assessment or therapy can help us navigate the seas of all the feels. We talk about this a lot more in our Calm the Sea Within feature/guides.
I created this post around Mother’s Day, but it is a relative thought any time of year. Motherhood is not the same journey for everyone. The experience of being/becoming a mom and relationship dynamics with moms are different from person to person.
May we also remember Mother Earth today and every day. This world, our home, goes through so much and it can become an easy habit to take it for granted. Today, brainstorm some ways you can strengthen this relationship. What are some things you can do to connect with the Earth? Some of us are fortunate enough to enjoy all of the Earth’s resources in abundance; water, food, land, etc. Many others in this world have limited access to the things that can so easily be taken for granted. What are some ways we can improve how we share our home?
Below is a graphic you can use for a few ideas. The more we do the work to take these steps, the more it becomes a natural part of our flow. This is a vital part of wellness; it is a form of self-care. How we treat the world around us has a lot to do with how we treat the world within us.
ALL THE PATHS | ALL THE FEELS
These are a few general thoughts relative to a number of life circumstances.
It became an ego human thing to measure our strength based on how well we could hide our feelings. Showing emotion was often considered weakness. In reality, owning our emotions requires great strength. Control is an illusion. Life is chaotic and we are on this wild ride of Earth spinning around and around a big ball of light in space. Because of how life can feel so far out of our hands, we create ways to feel in control. Sometimes the best thing we can do is to embrace acceptance. This can allow us to release that grip or need for control. When we allow ourselves to feel, we have an honest relationship with ourselves and others. Otherwise, our emotions find a way to flow out of us in our conscious and subconscious actions. I know this all too well. Even when we are giving life our best, being conscious, doing the work, doing what we feel is best, and having an honest relationship with our emotions, there are times where it is all too much or we thought we were doing well, we let our guard down, and it all rolls back in faster than we can blink. The human experience is not perfect. No matter how clean or conscious we try to live or how much we think we have it all in control, it can be a hot mess, like a gallon of gravy on one biscuit. Oh yum though, now I want to make biscuits and gravy, (which I have a great plant-based recipe for). (Another day folks, another day). Anyway, (hehe) life is messy. Own it the best you can! Be a good human! Do the work to root deeper, love consciously, grow mindfully. The little things to the big things define our life journey. Every moment matters; it is a seed in our soul, a piece in our mind, a flutter in our heart, and a vibe in our flow. Therefore, let's STOP pretending it's not a big deal, shoving it down, brushing it off, avoiding it, excusing it, etc. Do what you need to do until it feels like that seed is growing well in your soul. Otherwise, the garden becomes overrun with treacherous weeds and the process only becomes harder and harder.
Whether you write it down or use this as a 3-step method in your mind, this is a way to sort through our feelings. It is so important to sort through or identify our feelings. Dismissing our feelings can leave us feeling a lack of validation, motivation, or understanding. Feeling so much without a method for rooting through it can have us feeling overwhelmed. Even all the good stuff gets covered up by the tension and frustration of everything else. We clean our home. We clean our body. It is important to do this with the mind too. When you feel a strong emotion taking over, identify it:
“I am feeling _________right now”.
Why? Try to take ownership of it. You cannot control others or everything else in the world around you, but you can control the world within you: how you feel about something and how you react. What can you do to help you walk through the emotion in pursuit of resolution. Depending on the circumstance, the resolution may be immediate or a process. What are the short-term and long-term goals?
So much of what we go through often does not rise to the surface until years later. “It takes time for things to take root”. When they do, this is when we must dedicate more time to process and understand it all.
I am an Empath. I have a strong intuition & a gut that shakes my every nerve of processing this world. It took me years to fully believe in this. I'm still healing and doing the work to embrace this power. There were so many things in this world that made me feel like I couldn't or shouldn't listen to my senses. I stay committed to the things I know to be true from my vibes. It is often a challenging, isolating, and uncomfortable journey. Rarely, does it fit into society's ideals and norms. Listening to our inner voices is also a difficult journey and process. There are conscious layers of our existence. There are parts that are attuned and healed. Other parts are still a work in progress. These unhealed parts are often the loudest in our subconscious and conscious conversations, actions, and reactions, because they still trigger the fight or flight instinct. This is the energy we need to be still with. We need to take the time to listen to it and work with it before we can make conscious decisions, trust our vibes, and own our journey in a way we feel best. Our mind, body, and relationships have so many ways of trying to alert us when it is not okay. Some are subtle. Some are in full force. Are we listening or tuning it out? The conscious journey is about creating actions to be more fully present with the things that truly matter.
On the flip side, when you awaken to this understanding you may feel left with guilt, shame, regrets, traumas, etc of the old, unhealed version of self. Again, what matters is how you own it. Trying to live like those things didn't happen only deepens the wounds. Becoming consumed by the past can also be a dangerous road. Embrace the flow. Find the balance. Be present. Root Love Grow™!
3 Quotes or Journaling Activities
These 3 quotes / activities are relative to most anything in life and are used in a lot of the Rootin’ content. They are root methods for processing, creating, or refocusing the life flow.
We often talk about how control is an illusion. A major way we try to create control in life is through expectations. We place endless expectations on ourselves, others, and life. Sometimes these expectations are placed on us. Sometimes we have been made to feel this way through systematic, societal pressures or messages. This programming can makes us often feel like we are in a pressure cooker. Becoming so focused on expectations can leave us missing the moments and valuable experiences. Life is about the perspective and the process. When we get so focused on a single perspective or the results, the journey, needs, and possibilities are lost on us. This can cause a disconnection between understanding ourselves and others.
Making goals, tending to our responsibilities, and rising to the occasions that matter to you are still important, but the point is to do so without becoming so attached to particular expectations, results, visions. Focus on the things that are important, but loosen the grip. Give yourself and the universe time and space to flow.
A method I use to start releasing expectations and honoring experiences:
In your daily planner, write the top things you must tend to. Try to keep it under 10. The top 5 are essential. The next 5 are bonus items. If you get to it, great. If not, it’s okay. Are they things you really have to get done or are they things you want to get done? Unchecked boxes stress me out and always made me feel like a big pile of poo until I switched my method and perspective. I started eliminating things that did not matter in the big picture and focused my energy on the priorities. I use to not acknowledge myself for meeting those priorities or doing all the things that are above and beyond the list. I focused on the things I didn't get to yet or the life matters that weren't resolved yet. To switch gears I started creating a list at the end of the day of all the things I did, all the things that I experienced that were not on the list. The little things to the big things. It became a cleansing ritual to focus on the things that lift me up vs tear myself apart over all the things that still felt unchecked. I still have to work at that process and perspective, but it has improved my state of being so much. It doesn't have to be fancy. I keep a running list in an electronic notebook on my phone or simple bullet points in a notebook. When I want to do a more elaborate planner or journal, I look back and pull from those notes. When I do, I am often surprised at all the things.
This is a similar concept to experiences over expectations. This is more about getting too attached to the quantitative results over quality or getting caught up in the competitive and comparison game. So much of life is about the individual experiences, needs, and perspective, which often goes unseen, unheard, or misunderstood. So much of creating our life flow is in the root work; what's below the surface, behind the scenes. We get so focused on whar’s on the outside, who won, what someone did or has; the appearances and measurements of it all. The beauty, the truth is in the details. In the root work. In the core of it all. This fast-paced, mass produced world is often missing out on the art of living. We still cling to the divide and conquer ideals even when we do not mean to. It’s in our roots, in our blood, in our bones, in our instincts. What do we do? Root work! We have to keep Rootin' through it all. We need to get in the garden together and focus on the experience, the process, the quality, and co-create how the details come together. Sometimes, we have to uproot. This is never an easy choice; it’s often the hardest ones you’ll ever make. Understanding we are all on our own path, but all those paths are part of this collective world we share together is a key to mindfulness.
Journal idea:
Reflect on ways you can focus on mindfulness over measurements in your own life. Do this in regards to others as well. Reflect on ways you can be more supportive and understanding of others experiences, needs, and journey. If you are unaware of others' diverse experiences and perceptions, reflect on ways you can become more informed.
Life is about all the moments. The moments that pass us by faster than we can blink to the moments that plant a seed in our soul. It all created our life flow within us and all around us. When you feel the moment slipping away from you. When you feel triggered or overwhelmed, plant the seeds you want to grow. Come up with mantras for common moments that trigger you or cause you stress. When you feel it bubbling up, repeat this mantra as much as you need to. I like to write them on index cards or keep a note on my phone to go to when I need the visual affirmation and reminder. On a positive note, all the good moments can also overwhelm us in a way that we still feel anxiety. Anxiety for a positive or negative cause, is still anxiety. Remember, we are allowed to feel gratitude and grief. We are humans with emotions. We are life in motion, so life quickly flows and shifts from one thing to another. The anxiety surrounding positive moments may be: “will I remember this”? If this is something that concerns you, do the journaling method in the experiences over expectations concept above. When you can create time, pull some of your favorite experiences to create a scrapbook or little mantra cards to remind you of those precious moments.
Doses of Energy Work
A few thoughts and tips for all chapters.
Self-care is not meant to be added stress or pressure, but it is an important part of a healthy life flow. Trying to create extensive routines, big moments, and lofty goals with a “due date” can add pressure and stress to self-care, which cancels out the entire purpose. Self-care is how to create peace in the chaos. What are things you can do throughout your day to add doses of wellness. Alone time can be valuable time to regroup your energy, but sharing self-care with family, co-workers, and your social circles are important practices for creating peace in your livelihood. Sometimes, self-care continues to escape us when we keep waiting for more time, less things, freedom, and certain milestones to come to fruition. Often, self-care is the missing ingredient for those things to occur. This is a main root in all of our content, so I will keep moving on with this post. Below are a few brief insights for ideas.
Brief look at thoughts & tips:
Eating is a survival necessity, but also an important part of self-care. It can also be another source of stress and pressure. One side being access to food, let alone healthy food sources. The other side being access to so many options that understanding what to choose and creating a healthy relationship with it can be challenging. For those with access to food options, meal planning is a wonderful self-care ritual. One that I enjoy, but never seem to do, haha. Much like my life, it's a burst of creative moments to what the heck am I doing? How do I create more time? How do I create the energy? I finally found several strategies that work for me, which we discuss in my food focused content.
The same thoughts apply to exercise, which can be difficult to dedicate time to. My entire life and career once centered around this, but these last several years, moments for exercise were hard to come by. Hours of power, doses of exercise throughout the day has been a life-saver. Again, a feature for other content.
Other little methods and moments can also help add up to lift us up: color therapy, fresh flowers, aromatherapy, breathing exercises, meditation, mindful moments with tea, painting/doodling, music therapy, reading, etc. Many of these things you can do as a family or create little moments in your routine to just be a little more present.
Reiki is my go to for self-care. It's something I have done my whole life before fully understanding energy or even knowing this practice existed. It was just a natural thing I did to connect with my energy or calm myself. I am now a certified practitioner for humans & animals. Below is a quick look at a flow I use for brief moments of connection to more extensive process of transferring and translating the flow of energy. To learn more about my Reiki practice stay tuned for more content and workshop / session sign-up announcements.
The workshop is an intro to Reiki Self-Care. It includes 7 days of information, activities, and an audio recording of insights for each day. You can explore it at your own pace or enjoy the guided experience in which I connect through email.
No matter the path you are on in your motherhood journey; trying to become a mother, a new mom, an experienced mom, trying to mend your relationship with your mom, a partner to a mom, etc, Reiki can help you create peace within. Any wellness practice is about dedicating a little more time, attention, energy, and intention to care and consciousness.
This little flow is a brief look at the Reiki flow I did to help me connect with the energy of stored traumas I needed to heal to further my journey into trying to become a mother. These pictures were actually while I was pregnant with my sweet boy that I am so very grateful for. Of course, this is just a window view. Activities, meditations, and more went along with this flow. It was also not my only resource, fix, method, or practice for helping me heal and create. It was one of many. However, it was a powerful one to help me connect and cope with my energy flow.
One last thing!
Writing has always been my go to for processing life. To honor your chapter of life or connection to motherhood, here is a little activity you may find therapeutic.
Who do you want to be?
The theme of this piece has ultimately been about experiencing all the feels; flowing between gratitude and grief at times to thoughts on how to be more conscious and present. Sometimes the thing holding us back from being present is retracing the footsteps of the past. It can be easy to get caught up on who we were, all that happened to that version of us, or reanalyzing, reliving, etc. Reflection is important, but sometimes it becomes a bunny hole keeping us from fully walking into our new state of being. Reflections should be done with the intention of learning and empowerment vs damaging and limiting.
When you think of the best version of yourself, what do you see? What are the circumstances? What are the traits?
Here is a quick example of some writing prompts:
Let the past rest with one sentence: “I survived things I never imagined I would”.
Bring forward the things important to your present and future flow:
I am working on ….
I feel my best when ….
I will….
About Me: Lisa
A Glimpse at My Motherhood Journey
I’ve always been a fur / nature mama; bringing home critters and digging in the dirt with plants for as long as I can remember.
I’ve worked with children since I was a child. I helped my mom with a lot of childcare missions, was a babysitter, summer camp teacher, a coach, and have a BA & MA + certifications in health and wellness education with many career experiences in diverse educational programs and environments.
I also always battled a lot of chronic wellness issues; endometriosis, crohns, chronic migraines including a NON-cancerous cyst on the brain that causes pressure and my nervous system to rage against me at times. Getting to the roots of all this was a hell of a journey! I really had to learn how to be my own advocate and often take matters into my own hands to keep finding the right sources and steps to not only get through it, but find or create better paths for my wellness.
Becoming a mother was something I was very unsure if it would be in the stars for a magnitude of reasons, even though it was something my husband and I longed for. We were high-school sweethearts (actually met in middle school). Even when we were just kids, we were talking about our dreams of kids, including our adoption goals (whether we were able to have kids of our own or not). We both knew we had to go out into the world first though to pursue our career dreams, create a solid foundation, and heal our lifetime of stored traumas and the present wellness issues. It was a LONG journey of steadily cleaning out our life, being our own advocates, and further committing to the journey of becoming parents. This is a journey I will discuss more in my Seeds of the Soul blog posts, but to get to the best part: our dream of having a child came true after many ups and downs and years of trying to manifest it! The night the conception finally worked was the night we literally sat on the end of the dock and wished on a shooting star for everything we had seen in our visions, dreamed of for so long, and committed to in our methods to come to be. We are so very grateful for this sweet boy of ours!
Due to my wellness beliefs + medical issues I had always dreamed of a home birth, but I also knew I needed to be in a hospital as well for quick access to assistance if needed. This was mostly due to the cyst on my brain and the concerns of the pressure of pushing. I personally try to do everything as naturally as I can, because of my personal beliefs, but I am also highly allergic to all pain medication; even the small stuff can send my auto-immune issues in full attack mode. I have had anaphylactic shock just from minor meds and many other reactions. I will share my full birth story some time on the Seeds of our Soul blog.
I am an Empath, highly- sensitive being. My husband is too. So our deep, intuitive soul child got a double dose. Being highly sensitive does not mean being overly emotional. It is to feel all the fibers, vibes, roots, rhythms, and emotions at a much stronger rate. It is like being an energy detector. You can sense the flow & energy of all things. Therefore, if someone is stressed (even if they are trying to hide it or unaware of their own vibes) an empath can feel it. An Empath also has such a fire, curiosity, and love for life. They want to explore and soak up everything this world can offer, so they can create and give back. It can be hard to wind down. Imagine a “normal” flow a person experiences is like one source of energy to manage. An Empath feels all the sources, so the system can feel overloaded at a much faster rate. Overstimulation and stressed environments are hard for anyone, but an Empath can feel it all in every fiber of their being. Thankfully, Devin and I spent much of our lifetime together focusing on healing our Empath souls, so we could not only better understand our own flow of life, but prepare how to do so for our child to do our best to create a world where they felt like they belonged. I'll be sharing much more about this on the blog and in our content from our own methods to a hub of other wonderful resources, people, and professionals.
Thank you for rootin’ with me!